Growing Older But Not Up

Much of the fun of getting to know a new fishing buddy is the slow and pleasant process of asking questions about their life and answering questions about yours. Where’d you grow up? What do you do for a living? If you could have any superpower, what would it be? That’s the routine Tom and I were working through during our first trip together when he asked a question I didn’t expect.

“Are you retired?”

Retired? I suppose I’m old enough to have children Tom’s age, but for that to have happened I’d have had to muster the courage to speak to a girl—any girl—in high school, and because I didn’t develop that particular superpower until I’d made it through four years of college, both of my children are much younger than Tom.

Early middle aged? Maybe. Retired? No.

In fairness to Tom, though, this wasn’t the first time I’d been mistaken for an old guy. The AARP once sent an invitation for me to join their association, but only because some anonymous bureaucrat had mistakenly put my name on their list of old people. Tom’s mistake was different. He was standing next to me and could see the same young man’s face I see when I look in the mirror. I guess the ragged old Filson hat makes me look older.

About the time I’d recuperated from Tom’s question, I met a young man named Elliot who follows my blog and knows the rivers I’ve written about at least as well as—and probably better than—I know them. I’d been on the river for six straight days, and two cold fronts had shut down the fishing for most of that time. If Elliot saw me struggle through another fruitless evening, he’d surely peg me as a fly fishing blogger who can’t catch fish. Like a hockey player with a full set of teeth, a pirate with two good eyes, or a politician who can’t lie, I’d be exposed as a fraud.

Hoping to dodge such an embarrassing unmasking, I snuck off to a wide section of the river where I crossed, hid in the woods, and wished for a good fish to rise. I uttered a few prayers too, and just when the sun dropped below the treetops and the last of its rays were off the water, the big-fish gods answered my pleas. A throng of huge trout rose, and I caught them all. The river was my canvas, the rod was my brush, and I painted a masterpiece. Luck smiled on me and I smiled back. It was by far the best evening I’d had all week, and one of the best I’d had in my life.

It turns out that Elliot had been fishing downstream from me, and, because of the garish sound of my Hardy reel, he had witnessed the whole thing. We talked briefly back at the parking area, and I was surprised and delighted to receive his kind and thoughtful message the following day:

Hey Tim, it was great to meet you yesterday. Had a fun time chatting, and fun to watch you work your magic on those fish! I take comfort in the fact that 5 years of fly fishing experience is nowhere near enough to master it, and if I stick with it . . . someday I might be the old guy across the river slaying the fish on a bamboo rod!

Old guy?

“All this ‘old guy’ and ‘are you retired?’ stuff is starting to piss me off,” I wrote to my friend Jerry.

I know. I’m getting pissed off, too, Jerry responded. Especially because just a year or two ago I was the guy looking across the river at the old man (sixty!) and thinking how great it was that he could still get around at his age.

I hate to tell you, old friend, but it gets worse. Not long ago I went to a coffee shop and the tattooed, 22-year-old hipster counter jockey said, “What can I get you, young man?” I dove over the counter and throttled him until he was unconscious, wrote “I Am a Condescending Shit” on his forehead with a marker pen, and stole his wallet. Young man, indeed.

I suppose old guys like Jerry and me can hold off the inevitable by throttling innocent hipsters or trading our fedoras and vests for trucker hats and backpacks, but eventually we’ll have to concede that ten, twenty or thirty more years have gotten behind us. The gray hairs, receding hairlines and aching knees are awkward—and obvious—reminders of our evolution from whomever it was that we once thought we were into that old guy across the river. If we’ve kept our eyes open along the way, though, we should have learned a few worthwhile lessons. Assuming, of course, that we wore a good pair of corrective lenses to compensate for our diminished vision, and we made a simple five-point list so we wouldn’t forget.

  1. Short casts catch more fish than long casts.
    If you want to get closer, shorten your shadow, soften your steps, and weaken your wake.
  2. You’re only as strong as your weakest knot.
    If you don’t want to lose the fish of a lifetime, check your knots twice. Then check them again. They are are the only things that keep you connected.
  3. Don’t leave fish to find fish.
    A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. The grass is rarely greener on the other side. You know, that sort of thing.
  4. Don’t be afraid to change flies.
    Loyalty is important, but you’ll miss many opportunities if you are unwilling to change.
  5. You can’t fix a fouled leader with more casting.
    If you want to fix it, stop doing the things that caused the problem in the first place. Random yanks on the line almost always worsen the mess.

Of course Tom, Elliot, and the tattooed counter jockey are right. Jerry and I have grown older, and, I hope, a little wiser. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean we have to grow up.

Old Guy in the River

MikeAugust 10, 2016 - 7:22 pm

Love this story, I totally relate to it.
I also think most fly fishers end up right here at some point.
Not quite at the river mouth yet !

howard levettAugust 10, 2016 - 10:11 pm

There comes a time when whether we like it or not, we are old. It allows me a lot of leeway in things I say and do whether I’m fishing or just around people. When you reach that stage of life, you seem to relish in those things that are important and get irritated at those things that aren’t too you. I don’t know where I’m going but I will know it when I get there.

Tim SchulzAugust 10, 2016 - 11:06 pm

Wherever you go Howard, I hope it is near a good river.

Tim SchulzAugust 10, 2016 - 11:07 pm

Thanks Mike, I’m glad you liked it. Stay away from that river mouth, there is still plenty of good water upstream.

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