Anatomy of a Weekend

Cast of Characters

ADAM, John Voelker’s quick-witted grandson

TIM, the bumbling photographer and flailing fisherman

BROOK TROUT, the foolish and unwary native

Scene One: The Internet Prologue

(Email exchange, day one.)

ADAM
Tim, I’m thinking of coming up to camp for this weekend. If you are free why don’t you come down and we can fish.

TIM
This might work for me, and, if so, I’d love to come down. I need to double check with my wife . . . I’ve been known to forget about commitments at times.

(Email exchange, day two.)

ADAM
It isn’t for sure yet with me but I’m working up to a planned escape.

TIM
If you can make it, I am in. Bring plenty of rods.

(Email exchange, day three.)

ADAM
I’m a go for the wekeend. I will drive up to camp on Friday afternoon. I’m thinking of exploring up from our pond into a series of ponds. I will bring plenty of rods.

TIM
See you there.

Scene Two: The Gate

ADAM
Hi Tim, it’s great to see you again.

TIM
You’re damn right it is.

Scene Three: The Camp

TIM
Well, maybe I will finally catch my first trout from this magical pond.

ADAM
The pond is magical, not miraculous. You should fish at the dam. I think there’s a fish down there with only one eye.

TIM
Can I borrow one of your special flies?

ADAM
Do you want me to tie it on your leader?

(TIM curses under his breath, ties on the fly himself, then takes off for the dam.)

Scene Four: The Dam

TIM
There, that cast ought to do it. Here fishy.

BROOK TROUT
What the hell was that? Did someone slap a broomstick across the surface of the water?

TIM
How can a fish resist that cast?

BROOK TROUT
How did that get in my mouth? Must have slipped past my bad eye. Ah crap!

TIM
He he he he ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho.

Scene Five: The Upper Ponds

ADAM
Do you think you can keep the canoe straight for more than five seconds?

TIM
Are you actually trying to hook my ear with that fly?

ADAM
There’s a fish. He he he he ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho. A beautiful brook trout on a fly.

TIM
Technically, the sizable piece of earlobe that is impaled on your hook makes this bait fishing.

Scene Six: The Casting Docks

TIM
Great rods. Great casts. No jokes.

Scene Seven: The Dam

TIM
Wow, Adam, have you ever come up for a weekend and not caught a trout from the main ponds? Do you want me to show you how and where I caught my fish?

ADAM
Why don’t you take those bandages off your ears and stand directly behind me?

TIM
I think I’ll just stay behind this tree and pick some of your flies from its branches.

ADAM
Fish!  He he he he ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho.

Scene Eight: The Goodbye

TIM
I had a great time this weekend. As usual.

ADAM
It was just what I needed.

Postscript

(Check out The Fiberglass Manifesto and vote for us as the TFM Spotting photo of the month.)

© 2011 Timothy Schulz

Jeff @ The Freshwater FlyOctober 18, 2011 - 5:52 pm

Very nice report… awesome pics!!!

JeffDecember 3, 2011 - 10:21 am

That was great guys! You ever thought of publishing a book? Hours of winter time entertainment!! Great pics !

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